Dating, by Mark Driscoll.
Here are several notes regarding the video above.
Religion Saves and Nine Other Misconceptions by Mark Driscoll has a great chapter on dating. In that chapter, Driscoll begins by explaining four kinds of relationships–three of which are acceptable for Christians, and one of which is sinful (option #3). #1 – Prearranged Marriage #2 – Courtship #3 – Non Christian Dating #4 – Christian Dating
He also gave some practical advice for single men and single women alike, and advice for men and women specifically.
Christian Dating Principles for Both Men and Women
- Maximize your singleness for God.
- Do not pursue a relationship until you are ready to marry.
- Be reasonable – do not set your expectations too high or too low.
- A date is not dating: date = time together; dating = couple (1 Tim. 5:1-2).
- Never go on a date or date a non-Christian (2 Cor. 6:14).
- Only date one person at a time.
- He initiates; she responds.
- Look at who God puts in front of you (e.g. Boaz & Ruth).
- Feel free to use technology (e.g. internet dating) wisely.
- Only invest in a relationship with someone who you are attracted to entirely (e.g. physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, ministry gifts).
- Only date someone who agrees with you on gender and family.
- Guard your heart (Prov. 4:23).
Christian Dating Questions for Men
- Are you overlooking good women (e.g. single moms, shy, divorcees)?
- Are you honoring, God, her, her family, her friends, etc.?
- Is she modest (1 Tim. 2:9)?
- Will she follow your leadership?
- Does she have noble character (Prov. 31)?
- Can you provide for the lifestyle she expects (1 Tim. 5:8)?
- Is she like the worst women in Proverbs (e.g. nag, loud, quarreling, unfaithful)?
- Do you want your daughters to be like her and your sons to marry someone like her?
Christian Dating Questions for Women
- Do you want to help him and join his course of life (Gen. 2:18; 1 Cor. 11:9)?
- Is he tough enough to remain strong in tough times (2 Tim. 2:3)?
- Will he take responsibility for you and your children (1 Cor. 11:3)?
- Is he considerate and gentle with you (1 Peter 3:7)?
- Will he be a good father (Ps. 127:3-5; Eph. 6:4)?
- Is he a one woman man (1 Tim. 3:2)?
- How valuable are you to him?
- Do you want your sons to be like him and your daughters to marry someone like him?
“God and Sex” by Matt Chandler is one of the best talks on dating and relationships. It’s 2 hours long, but the second hour is live Q/A from the audience. However, you need to listen to the first hour in order to understand the answers given in the second hour.
- Sex, Dating, and Relationships by Heistand and Thomas — this is the book on dating for Christians.
- The Mingling of Souls” by Matt Chandler. Great overview on love, romance, dating, sex, marriage, and family. "Live” Q/A with Matt and his wife here.
- The Meaning of Marriage by Tim & Kathy Keller (great book to read on dating because you must begin with the end in mind)
- Married For God by Christopher Ash
- What Did You Expect? Redeeming the realities of marriage by Paul Tripp
- Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart by John Ensor
- Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud
- Generational impact on families and society.
- Some of the best articles on singleness, dating, and marriage.
- More Than Single– Good insight, perspective, and advice on navigating singleness and relationships
- Advice for Young Men by John Harris
- “The New Rules for Sex, Love, and Dating” by Andy Stanley
- One Single Sex Boundary That Just Might Work — actually, it does work. Ask me if you want the story.
- “A Marriage Preparatory Inventory” by the Biblical Counseling Coalition
- The Case for Early Marriage— fascinating article in Christianity Today